I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
