Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
