Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
