So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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