thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
