i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
