hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
My bed smells like the plague
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
