We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
