That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I made him laugh his dick is mine
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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