its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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