he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize