maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Randomize
