I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
