sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
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