Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
