Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
