yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
