I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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