I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
no, he came in my armpit
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
