I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
