I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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