And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
You smell like stripper and shame
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
