This girl is more easily done than said...
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
