Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I think I sprained my soul last night
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
