Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
