BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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