no you cant smoke seaweed
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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