I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
We have started to decorate penises.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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