I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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