Just cropdusted the office
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
