i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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