I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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