i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Sorry about my life...
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm like, not good at living.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
