so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
You can't special order awesome
why do cheetos always look like penises
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
