She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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