ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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