You smell like stripper and shame
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
