She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize