Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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