I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
