Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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