Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I think your dad took our porno
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize