nut hugger
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
