just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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