Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
im holly from the hills drunk
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
