I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
