I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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