So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Drake has all the answers
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
