the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Randomize
