But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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