i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Randomize
