You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Randomize
