Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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