I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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