when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
