i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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