break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
