overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
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